Loved Ones....I will alwez be there for you no matter what

Weekend and today were kuite eventful...saturday i went back to my old school CHIJ Secondary Toa Payoh to help my Auntie with some photography...MAN!!! it looks so much better than before and it looks so grand and white! I actually got lost in my own school...imagine that...i felt so damn stupid man. Well, one thing good is that they kept some of the staircases which makes mi not so lost...at least i remembered something. Now the technical block, Secondary school and Primary school are connected on the second floor...i think it is pretty cool and more convenient but that would mean that the little monkeys from the primary side can run over...LOLx...In the evening, my dear cousin Jaryl came over to stay cos he cannot stand his bro and his sis...they were supposed to stay with their father...but it was fun...we talked, watched movies and used the comp...or rather took turns on the comp...
Sunday, I had my driving lessons 31 and 32...The instructor was funny...he said my driving on the outside road was damn good...but inside the circuit...sama buang...but still can park and all that la...and it was then i learnt that this olf foggy that taught me directional change and verticle parking was a dumb ass...stupid old woohoo...make mi feel stupid man. When i got home...the lil monkey of a cousin was still at my place...dropped him home at 5.30 and went out with my parents. We went to heartland mall and mummy finally got her darling black V3 and she passed her used silver V3 to my dad...lol..he alwez gets the second hands...poor man...oh well..that's what guys are for i presume. Oh yes he got something firsthand...a bluetooth earpiece which he had no idea how to use...ahahaha. When we left heartland mall, I saw my ex, Alvin...oh man my heart skipped a beat and i couldn't breathe...i was like stuck in some time warp for a moment...he still looks the same...emotions started to run and the feeling just rushed back to my heart...i was babbling nonsense to my mum and she thought i was crazy..pretty obcious i still have feelings for him..opportunity knocked a second time and i didn't freaking open the door...now i am hoping for my third chance...hopefully i will remember to call him and not stand there like a fool. Well he is one of the 2 guys in my life that i truly loved and had that special feelin for. So i guess if i see Zhida i will get that feelin too...but i hope i wun see him...With that irritating feeling i had in my heart, we went to chomg pang and daddy bought mi a bluetooth earpiece too..heex..sooo happy...On the way home i recieved an sms from jack, a good fren and junior of mine...so i went down to star pub t outram to accompany him...drank, sang and played some dice game...first time i drink so much beer...left the place at 12.30 and went home to do some work...feeling high and goin work is one of the worst combinations...bleahz...but finished and sent over to my client...happiness...
Today...recieved email from client sayin that 3 out of 4 pages needed some altering and i did not put in the correct pics...blardy hell...the pics weren't even sent to me and i was working with whateva i had on hand la..stupid..and they want it printed by the 7th of march..like what the hell...din relli bother...so i went over to Jack's place to chill...after that went compass point and had coffee. Aniwae Jack, you'll be fine...Your frens and I will be by your side and you noe how you can reach me...and prepare yaself to do work and get some credits...After that i left to meet my exbf's frens at tampines old road and then went to Yizhan's house to chill...a few people whom i neva met appeared...Defeng, Jianyi, Ah Fu and Shi Hong were there...had a fun time and borrowed VCDs...ahahaha...stupid Yizhan was saying that maybe one day i will see zhida when i go and find him at tampines old road...told him to promise mi never to let that happen and all he said was " Got free show how can i not watch?" irritating...aniwae..is ok...at least i know i have class and that slut doesn't, i have a career and she doesn't..what does she have that i dun?? hmm..oh yah...something called a big tummy also known as a baby...oh well..she is devil's representative sent down to punish pple..psycho bitch...aniwaez, i left at 11.30 to come home to get the blardy newsletter done and sent it to the client...yippeee!! finally...hope she is satisfied or i'll kill myself...pretty shag now...gonna get some sleep...

P.S. Mei...you'll be fine ok..i promise...i will alwez be here for you, to help you, to hold you and to guide you. Thanks for everything.

What a good week...

Sorta had a good week despite my horrible driving on monday...damn i almost killed my instructor..he was in total shock man...i was totally reckless and wasn't concentrating at all...got stuck at lesson 30 so did the same thing the next day...but finally passed lesson 30..yay mi! my vertical parkin totally sucked man...need to brush up on that..ooh went for an interview as an image consultant and i got the job...thanks kevin for sending mi there or i would have been late...

Finally wed came...yay..mambo nite...my sanctuary...i can forget abt everything...before that i met up wif my exbf's frens..it was sorta weird cos everytime i was wif them in the past was becos of my ex but oh well..it was fun hanging out...gossiped and found out abt a lot of stuff...after that went to pick serene up from conrad cos that silly gal got lost and we headed down to zouk...at zouk, our dear fren serene went off wif her bf and so i was left to mamboing wif kes and jeremy..then joined leo and michelle..i was jumpin from platform to platform...saw a few cute guys..heex...nicole left earlier god knows why but she left and i stayed on..after that went to shell as usual and i had my noodles...after that kevin sent mi home..thank you once again...Thurs was driving again...it was alrite...and today i finally got to drive an auto car...yippee...damn nice damn easy and damn relaxing...made my parking so easy...aniwaez..spoke wif my long lost fren alan and decided to go watch "i not stupid 2" on monday and maybe ktv on wed instead of mambo...oh well..good to spend time wif frens...and my father finally got the idea that i will disappear to zouk every weds and he has given the green light...yay!! super happy day for mi today..haiz...tmr got photography to do..sians and i gota get down to doin some work now..at 5 am in the morning...due at 12 pm...sickening man...time to slog...

Lying alone in my bed thinking...

Just lying here and thinking...i am a changed person...i no longer believe in a love...a part of mi has been lost..all i can think of is my career..my licence...i lost a few of my frens along the way...it is all different...i feel so numb...that empty hollow feeling is so blardy annoying it kills mi at times...no one to hold on to..no way of feelin loved...it all feels like a staged act..even goin to mambo...the happiness oni lasts for that few hours and i am back to my lonely world...in front of others i appear to be happy and carefree but i am all torn up inside..my heart is not where it used to be..or at least i dun feel so...lookin at myself in the mirror...i dun even noe who i am..i dun recognise that apparently happy person...it is all a facade..so fake...who am i really...i need to find the real mi...i have crushes on people...little happiness comes from that...just to take up my time and the empty spaces in my mind...this sounds like a stupid entry but i just gotta let some things out before i explode...how can i not think about the one i truly loved? even though i hate him so much...it was love..true love and romance...no one noes what goes on behind besides mi...he'll alwez have a place in my heart..sometimes i wish i could have him in my arms once again...but i noe it is impossible so i hafta move on.....

Quoted from songs: "I was dying inside to hold you..." "I know I'll never love this way again..."

Past, Present and Future...in my face

On thursday night i caught up with my exbf's fren as he was apparently abt to kill mi for thinking that they hated mi for some stupid reason..so i made a surprise call to him and boy was he happy to hear from me. he up dated mi on a lot of stuff like my ex is gettin married cos he got his gf pregnant...and he does not love her...he wanted to whack her a couple of times...all his frens are not intending to attend his weddin as they hate her as she is kuite fucked up...that he treats her totally differently from how he treated mi in the past. Learned that while we were together he actually flirted around..i swear i feel xtremely dumb but what the heck we are so over and done with...pissed mi off...gonna meet up with the guys soon...

On friday due to the whole bad mood shit..i went clubbin wif my frens at zouk...phuture rather..before that i went to this company called enyouth to see what it is about and it din seem that bad..maybe i will try it out..the guy who spoke seemed relli nice..i mean after all he had his past and it suits mi just fine...but he talked damn long man...wanted to die..after that just spoke wif a few of them downstairs and rushed off to zouk. My nice mambo fren Gerald signed mi in..yay gerald! and then went phuture wif my ex classmate...had a vodka redbull and a flaming lambhorgini...damn that killed mi man..i was so drunk..after dancing for a bit...din feel that good so i left wif my cousin whom i have not met in a long time to shell for some food...his blardy cars breaks were not workin man...walao..can die..After that my fren picked mi up and spent the night with him...

Saturday was spent lazing at home then another mambo fren, kevin ask mi go dblo...not exactly my fav place so decided to head down for a while...before that i met my good fren Zhi at serangoon gardens and we just went to liquid kitcen to catch up on old times..it felt good...i actually missed her..i dunno if she felt the same way..glad that she is happy...we then went to chomp chomp to get her chicken wings and then walked to her place..she was nice to walk mi out to get a cab. I then went down to dblo to meet kevin and coincidentally i saw 2 other mambo frens in the queue leo and lebon..nice guys...wen went in..stood ard for a while then we went to dance...ahaha on platform again sia...and they played retro altho they plaed some techno in between..it illed mi but i survived...that blardy dj should just keep his mouth shut and play the songs man...so noisy lor he.. hung out wif leo and lebon the whole night before i left at around 1.45am. Saw anther 2 mambo frens there too...so funny...well after all it is retro..enjoyed myself..glad to have made these few new frens...

Sunday.. a day to laze..woke up at like 3...after all...i dun rem having clubbed wed fri and sat in a week...the drinking left my mouth and my tongue totally dead...went to jurong point for dinner wif my parents...dunno y my crazy father wanna go so far...ok la..that place not bad..a lot of shops...but damn freakin far la..came home and then brought my dog down and met a fren...haiz...dunno whether i am ready to accept someone new in my life...gonna slp on it...after all he is a nice guy...oh well..gotta catch a few ZZzzzs before rushin my project tmr.

Friends come and go...treasure them as they play an important role in your life...

you just never know...

Ooh...long time no blog...

so...it has been hell of a long time since i have blogged...just too darn lazy even tho many things have been happenin..hokay...so there was the camp i actually went to to help with the photography...funny thing was that Nicole, Zhi and I were together at the same camp..felt like old times and it actually felt good...was called ah lian by a few instructors...made new friends and made a fool of myself...the 2 main stupid thing that happened were real bad despite the fact that i blended in with the students real well due to my height. One: i said that you hafta go through woodlands if you were goin to bukit batok from clementi...and secondly...Miss Nicole dropped me from the hammock...literally...what a blardy rude awakening man...and yes gal i noe this was some time ago...

Then there are the wednesdays where Nicole and I go to mambo at zouk...real fun..made friends there too...thank goodness for Nicole and Mambo..if not i would have gone crazy...you noe what i mean gal...Meera and I hung out a lot...mostly at liquid kitchen...that woman loves that place...the choc fondue is good...but damn sinful...I actually found an old time fren...lost contact for god knows how many donkey years and i found him...woohoo...caught up abt old times and had our laughs...and now i realise i happen to know his friends. Nice people are comin into my life and i am relli glad to know them...had mahjong session at nicole's place and fell aslp...oops...my bad...and practically had fun rest of the week.

So it all boils down to this week...pretty sad week actually...Meera left on Monday..13 Feb...i miss her big time...dunno how i am gonna live wifout her...Tuesday was V-day..was supposed to spend it wif Miss Nicole but she fly my aeroplane...so spent it wif another good fren Serene...went shopping for her bf's prezzie and then went for dinner at CHIJMES...A friend picked mi up from CHIJMES and we went rounding...oooh...i found out there was a carpark in east coast where people do it in their cars...fascinating...I was amazed...LOL...Wed...well was suppose to go mambo wif Nicole but went alone instead...it was fun actually...ad Gerald, Zhikai and Kes...not forgettin Michelle, Alan and Ken...thank gawd they were there..heex..Thursday..day to rest except for driving...finally finished lesson 28...6 more lessons to go before TP..yay...cannot wait to get licence. Came home and was online...spoke to my exbf's frens and called one of them on the fone...we spoke and i found out loads of shit...doesn't matter now but i feel sad for my dog lucky...he is being tortured. I might resort to callin the SPCA...seriously...i dun relli care i just want my baby Lucky to be safe and well..I am relli sorry for leaving you...I love you my little puppy...alwez be my baby boy...

Well over all...it is good to get back old friends and meet new ones...Happy you guys walked into my life...Love ya all...Cheers