why do people betray me???

it has been a long time since i blogged i have so manythings goin on in my life now...fuck around? yes i do...but now i have stopped...why?? cos i have found someone which i can love but i do not noe if he loves mi...i have told many people that i prefer to love than be loved and they say i am stupid...but what am i to do?? i told a very good fren of mine that i liked this guy but instead of helping mi..she went after him herself..i was so pissed i did the stupidest thing possible...i got high and i did not the what the fuck i was doin...i relli miss my ex...i love him so much...but what can i do now that he is married?? am i fated not to find "the one"???? i lost the one i love 2ice and i have already given up...what am i to do? why does eeryone treat me nicely only when they need something?? why am i alwez there for people but people are neva there for mi??? what the hell did i do wrong? am i born to be used? i am fucking high and pissed and confused...guess i shall go and slp...hopefully i will foeget everything...